Starbucks Saga part II: Parking Wars

March 23, 2010

My yuppy sightings and Starbucks dramas have been lacking recently (probably because I’m now working rather than staring aimlessly out the living room window, alas). But Sunday morning made up for it, we got to witness the ultimate in yuppy impatience: a jittery coffee addict with a parking ticket.

It was about 9:30 am when Mr. Tweed jacket illegally parked his silver SUV in the usual spot, between the driveway to the alley and the side door to Starbucks. Usually these quick coffee park and runs go unnoticed (other than the pissed off truck driver blocked in the driveway, and the neighbours woken up his thundering horn). But today Mr. Tweed would not be so lucky: the parking officer was doing his rounds. After going in to get his morning fix, he returned to his vehicle and stopped suddenly upon finding a ticket on his windshield. Swelling with anger, his brown button coat began to burst open; he stormed back inside and pulled out an innocent young barista. Waving the ticket in her face he yelled on and on about how she personally cost him $50, “this coffee cost me 50 bucks! Why didn’t you warn me? Where’s the sign?” She quickly and casually responded by pointing upwards to the No-parking sign on the lamp-post. Meanwhile another Starbucks goer had just finished parking in the still illegal spot next to Mr. Tweed, and was heading into the coffee shop completely carefree of the scene taking place. Mr. Tweed continued to get louder, and headed back inside to find the Manager… desperate for someone who would listen to his temper tantrum.

Just as it got quiet, the parking officer conveniently sauntered out of the alley, pen and paper in hand. He wandered up to the newly parked vehicle and left a ticket on his windshield too. Mr. Tweed returned and took off in a wild rage, nearly slamming into oncoming traffic. The second customer came back out to his car and took up the ticket like it was an everyday affair… as if it were an extra charge for convenience. The parking officer was still around, handing out tickets, when a third customer pulled in. The officer turned him around explaining that this was a no-parking zone. The Van pulled out, disappeared until the officer was out of sight, then returned to the same spot.

All in all, the officer hit a jackpot for his monthly quota. Watch out yuppies…you can bet he’ll be back.


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